GENIUS PURE GENIUS

Are you ready for shear genius?
I hope so! Because after all you are reading MY blog.
OK so I was watching my baby nephew take a bath yesterday and I was thinking how effective water is for baby cleanup and this brilliant idea just struck me...
BABY BIDET!!!
VIOLA!!! No more mess! No more wipes! No more diaper rash!
IT'S BRILLIANT!!!!
Talk about genius! Every baby I know suffers from diaper rash at one point in time or another and I had always wondered what a good solution would be.
A Baby Bidet is the answer!
HA! HA! Now if only I knew someone who could make the idea a reality...

HOT AIR

School is rather phooey. And I don't particularly care for it. Probably because of the way it is carried out and the methods by which our intelligence is judged. For example I CAN NOT STAND IT when I have to fulfill a required amount of words or pages to explain something so simple as to be summed up in three sentences. When a student is forced into writing just so much the intelligence of the paper or essay goes down and the hot air goes up. Hot air rises eh? Yes it does. The more a person must write the more hot air goes into it. The problem is the hot air rises but the grade may or may not. It depends on how good your hot air is. Instead of grading hot air and how many pages and how many words, teachers need to grade the information simply for information's sake. If the question is answered or the situation explained or whatever then that should be the basis for the grade. Not how long it is. It is being forced into writing these hot air papers and essays that have to do a lot with how much I hate school. And I have learned that my current school is worse in this way than any of my previous ones. It upsets me. I'm supposedly going to a very good school but I don't see it. I am heartily glad that I am only here for the summer to learn what the place is really like. So far I am not impressed. But I suppose someone will inevitably say my next school will be the same way. Maybe. Maybe not. I hope not. I like to be tested/quizzed/homeworked for my knowledge. Not how well I can expend hot air.

CORDELIA

i have been working on a new story. the fairies are at their wits end. they do not know what to do. the magic is gone. they send two young fairies named dolly and georj to go in search of someone who could help them. where should they look? the first human they ever see is a large man who rides a huge green monster that tears up the earth. the monster rider knew a smaller human named cordelia. cordelia is a little girl who plays with two small plastic people. dolly and georj are very curious about cordelia and they follow her around. they watch her play with her plastic friends, clean, eat and play with her dad who can't walk very well. the more they watch her, the more they like her. they wonder if she is the one who can help the fairies.

SPONTANEOUS RANDOMNESS

I was hanging out with a bunch of people yesterday and there was a long lull in the conversation so I looked at the girl next to me and told her to say something random. This is a blog of spontaneously random sayings.
Go to the bakery and buy yourself a dodo bird.
Moon stars drive to the movies on dirt bikes.
Cows travel east in the dawn of a new day.
Blood red flowers consume the bugs of time.
Brown cars are all the rage in ant hills of feathers.
Z will one day spell apple..... Zapple eh?
Seek the vortex of your soul to bring freedom to your mind.
Needles linger in the memory of wrongs done.
Fur is what parrots drink to make them sing.
Yellow twists and turns into a maze of forgotten paths.
Books are what dreams are made of.
A stapler is called a stapler because it eats paper.
Green and orange just don't match.
You will never believe what that monkey just said to me!... What?... What are you talking about?... Monkeys can't talk!
Post mortem is what happens when the internet dies and you need to get a new one.
Music is the destroyer of the undeserving idiot.
To laugh is to have the ability to live through mind numbing lunacy.
Penguins who try to fly turn green on impact.
Chickens gather together to discuss the weather on the moon.
Voracious camels hide from the inevitableness of eternity.
What is your spontaneously random saying?

PUDDING

I do not like being sick. It is phooey. I have a sore throat and a runny nose. I think I would rather throw up. At least I would be over that quicker. So I have been trying to drink lots of water and (because we do not have real cough drops) I have been consuming large amounts of VitaminC drops. I have spent lots of time in the bathroom with the hot water steaming everything up. It clears the nose and soothes the throat. I have also been avoiding dairy because that complicates the nose problem. Until now. My brother Daniel is staying with us and he likes what he calls Daniel Food. Well yesterday he made six boxes of pudding. There are only three people here to eat it! And Bree but she does not eat very much. Well I was looking at all that pudding and decided that I did not want Daniel to eat it all so I ate some. I tell you what. Other than the steam from the shower nothing has made my throat feel better. It is so soothing. My throat feels wonderful when I eat it. I do not care what it does to my nose. I will take whatever relief I can get.

VEGGIE TALES

Is there anything more ridiculous than singing vegetables? I mean seriously... talking singing vegetables that teach Bible stories. How silly is that? Very. And I love it. Veggie Tales is the most hilarious thing I have ever seen. It's good fun entertainment for kids AND adults. Some of the things they say are sooo funny!
"We've been getting a lot of questions about sharing," says Bob the Tomato.
"Yeah! Like... When do I have to share? Why do I have to share? Whatever happened to Sonny and Cher? Questions! Questions! Questions!" says Larry the Cucumber.
This is just one example of the hilarity that goes on in the show. Fun songs that I enjoy just as much as kids. Memorable quotes. Silly situations. It's Great! No wonder they describe it as "Sunday morning values... Saturday morning fun!"
Anyone who has not seen it, should. I guarantee it will bring a laugh.
"We're out of time for today kids, but remember; God made you special and He loves you very much. Bye bye!"

DAJER & DIJAE

Everytime I turn around there's Dajer and Dijae. Dajer and Dijae are husband and wife. Who are these Dwarves that seem to be everywhere and doing everything at once? They are in the Gnome capital Eisoj. They are in the University at Nocaj. They are at the prison. They are in the Dwarven palace.
Who are they?
They are loyal to the Dwarven Royal Family. They are accomplishing tasks for them. They run errends, spy on criminals, interrogate for information, hunt down enemies, travel to other worlds, protect the Family, provide transportation and anything else they may be called on to do. They are very busy people.
Is that all they are?
I do not think so. There is something about them that is just not Dwarfy. They are different.
But how?

MARSHMALLOWS

marshmallows. they are so yummy. until you eat too many. then they are pukey. isn't it interesting how much we love and appreciate something until we have too much of it. then we can't stand it. for example... once upon a time i loved brownies. i would eat them any way they came. raw. half done. perfectly done. burnt. hot. cold. home-made. store-bought. it didn't matter. as long as it was a brownie. until... one christmas time... everyone makes brownies at christmas time. and with christmas spirit and goodwill they share with everyone they know. i got a ton of brownies that year. i enjoyed every one. except the last one. i got sick. to this day i can no longer eat a brownie without being seriously sick. too much. there are many things we buy or do or eat that we love until one time too many. then we can never tolerate it again. this is why moderation in all things is so important. moderate your marshmallows or you will be tasting them a second time and it won't be pleasant

MADNESS TO THE METHOD

A THOUGHT HAS JUST STRUCK DELEMETRE.
WHAT WOULD THE WORLD DO WITHOUT PRONOUNS?
PRONOUNS SIMPLIFY OUR LANGUAGE AND REDUCE REDUNDANCY. CAN THE READERS IMAGINE NOT USING PRONOUNS?
DELEMETRE CHALLENGES THE READERS OF THIS BLOG TO TRY TO GO A WHOLE DAY WITHOUT USING PRONOUNS.
DELEMETRE THINKS THAT NOT USING PRONOUNS WOULD BE QUITE FUN AT FIRST BUT WOULD EVENTUALLY BECOME TIRESOME.
GIVE NOT USING PRONOUNS A TRY ANYWAY.
DELEMETRE KNOWS THIS BLOG IS SHORT. BUT DELEMETRE HAS WORK TO DO.

COLOR

I have been asking many different people about color. What is the color of hope? Fear? Sorrow? Joy? Determination? And many others.
It started as a research project for a book I am writing. As I asked different peaple I noticed some interesting patterns.
Hope: Most chose light colors.
Fear: Mostly dark colors but there were also some light ones.
Sorrow: Most said blue some said black.
Joy: Mostly yellows and greens.
Determination: Mostly blue some green some yellow.
There were other patterns too. People who feel stronger emotions chose more vibrant colors. Those who do not chose quieter colors.
I have noticed another pattern with the emotions that have the same colors for a certain person.
For example Kayti chose red for love, anger, hate, excited and energetic.
Savannah chose black for anger and sorrow.
Lauren chose pink for love, excited and energetic.
Andrew chose grey for tired, worry and confused.
There have been others that I have asked and they have their own patterns too.
Do you see how the the emotions are related to each other in the color they chose? It tells something of their characters. Their strong emotions and their not so strong ones. The emotions that use the same part of them.
It has been a very interesting study. And i have learned much from it, although I did not do it for character study of my friends.

MUSIC

"If music be the food of love play on. Give me excess of it." --Orsino, Twelfth Night
Music is a very influentioal part of our lives. It can make us crazy. Happy. Calm. Excited. Peaceful. Tired. Energetic. Thoughtful. Sad. And a variety of other things. Music defines us. Different people listen to different kinds of music. Certain types of people listen to classical. Others listen to hard rock. And yet others listen to both.
One can tell a lot about a person by the types of music they listen to. I listen to Enya. The Corrs. Classical. Billy Joel. Sophie B. Hawkins. C+C Music Factory. They Might be Giants. R.E.M. Tears for Fears. And other similer stuff. This says that I like upbeat music. Funny music. Calming music. Thoughtful Music. Wild music.
I am happy. Wild. Crazy. I am quiet. Thoughtful.
The music defines me.
The music tells who I am.

THANKSGIVING

Thanksgiving is coming!
"That's the day when we try to eat every turkey, cranberry and pumpkin on the face of the planet." --Garfield
I love all the good food. Turkey. Stuffing. Mashed potatoes. Salad. Banana bread. Dinner rolls. Biscuits. Homemade applesauce. Cottage cheese. Pickles. Black olives. Cheese covered veggies. Apple pie. Cherry pie. Pumpkin pie.
I love pie!
Not only is it a day of good food it is a day of gratitude.
Gratitude is often talked of in Church. They always say that we need to have an "Attitude of Gratitude." How does the Lord know to give me more blessings if I never express to Him that I appreciate what He has already given to me? In an old movie called "White Christmas" Bing Crosby sings a song about counting our blessings. I know that when I count my blessings every day I am happier person.
Life is good. I should not blow it on negatism.
I need to enhance it with Thanksgiving!
And good food too.
Hooray! for Happy Holidays!!!!!

DWARF TWINS

Jane and John are Dwarf twins. They are the daughter and son of King Fredrik and Queen Kelli. They spent a few years in the USA where they did double duty. John was keeping an eye on a Gnome and Jane was keeping an eye on an Elf. They also studied Human politics and issues. After receiving Master's Degrees and serving in a few political offices they returned to Nocaj (Dwarf capital) in Orean at the age of 75 (Humans all thought they were 25). They worked hard to learn everything there is to know about Dwarf politics and compared it to Human politics. They worked together with other Dwarves and made executive decisions (with parental permission of course) using the best policies of both people to make the Dwarf lands a better place to live. With these new innovations working well and Dwarf society on the incline Jane and John wanted to include the Elf and Gnome peoples in their learning and progress. The problem was the Elves and Gnomes were at war with each other. They decide to split up. John goes to Mabid to enlist the help of Enelia the Elf Princess. Jane goes to Eisoj to enlist the help of Ydoc the Gnome Prince. Why the Princess and Prince instead of their parents? Because they were raised among the Humans. Enelia in Ohio. Ydoc in New York. They did not have the predjudices that the other Elves and Gnomes had. They would also soon be Queen and King. They would be able to convince their peoples that war was not the answer to their problems and that there were greater things to do with their time and resources. John and Jane were successful in bringing Enelia and Ydoc to Nacaj and convincing them that they could make a difference to their peoples. But something happened that they did not expect. Something wonderful yet really bad at the same time. John and Jane are at a loss as to what to do.

DELEMETRE

Delemetre is really two different people.
Delemetre number one is my Lady-In-Waiting. She is an amazing Elf. She is always cheerful and has saved my tail more times than I can count. Delemetre has spent most of her life in the Royal Palace at Mabid (the Elf capital) She knows everyone who is anyone and where their loyalties lie. She also knows everything worth knowing in the kingdom. She taught me ettiquette, fashion, manners and attitude. Delemetre taught me to appreciate who and what I am. She taught me that the Elves are not just a sea of faces to be seen through windows but individual people with individual personalities. Delemetre is the kind of person everyone needs to have around.
Delemetre number two is a relation of mine. She was named for Delemetre number one. She had an unusual experience at a young age. She was raised on a prosperous farm by two Orean Humans (see previous entry) One night she is kidnapped by two men. One is an Elf the other Human. The three travel to Mabid where the Elves are in an uproar because the Governor had died and noone knew who would take his place. But the rumors are flying about elections, heredity and appointments. Noone knows for sure how the next Governor will be chosen, but apparently Delemetre has something to do with it.

OREAN

OREAN is a world where humans do not exist. There are many creatures there that do not exist here. Dragons for example and winged horses for another. There are three different races that live there. Elves. Gnomes. Dwarves.
The Elves live in the ancient forests of the west. They love style and splendor. They have no belief in a Higher Being. I am working on that. They'll come around eventually.
Gnomes live in the green forests of the east. They are a small people and love large grandiose architecture. I am working on their religious beliefs as well.
Dwarves live in the mountains of the north. They love to mine for precious metals and jewels deep in the earth. They also love technology and many have spent much time in the human world learning more about it.
There are also those of the Mixed Race. They are not of any one race but of two or (in some cases) all three. These are often called Humans. Do not confuse these with the Humans you and I know here in this world. Orean Humans have no human blood. They live just as long as the other races (400-500 years) and have the use of magic.
Now that you have been well educated you know why Orean is where the fun is. Too bad for you Real Humans. You can not go there unless you receive an invitation. And that is not likely to happen.